An open letter to J.J. Abrams ~ (Warning: SWVII Spoilers Ahead)

OK, J.J. Abrams….

You (and Lawrence Kasdan and Michael Arndt) did a decent job writing the latest Star Wars installment, but I have a few issues. You see, I am an author. I take careful measures so that I don’t repeat myself in subsequent books and hold my plot lines in high regard above cranking out fluffy crap just to make a profit.

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While there were many excellent elements in the story and design of SWVII, there were also far too many GLARING, plagiaristic similarities in this film. Let me take a stab at naming a few – and I’m sure this won’t be a full list:

Orphan on a desert planet

Father/son face off

Let’s do away with the new death star in the exact same way we did with the other one

Droid carrying a secret

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Also, how in the heck did Chewie see Rey when he was taking off? Did I miss something? Did I blink? Honestly, it would only have taken another ten seconds to have her get this attention, and would have enriched the suspense of the moment. Another few seconds of film would not have been a ‘make or break’ addition.

Why didn’t you give Leia juicier lines?

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It seems all the sass, wisdom and sauciness was drained from her character. That was not a smart move, man.

Did you notice that your second and third tier characters got all the cool first AND last names?

Razoo Quin-Fee

Bazine Netal

Lema Eelyak

Tabala Zo

Korr Sella

Frickin’ cool names never to be heard from again. Sad face*

And honey, your casting for Han and Leia’s son….

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This, more than anything ripped me from the story. He looks NOTHING like either of them. There exists ‘suspension of disbelief’ but this totally killed it for me. You could have caused conflict with your audience that had nothing to do with the script or plot. If you want to know how, just ask me.

Since this is not only a cultural phenomenon but a part of me since I was a child, I’m going to give VIII one more chance. But please, no more plagiarism, sucky casting and character draining. You should find someone who will be tough on your script and help find better story/plot solutions rather than duplicate contrived scenarios. I know several people who could assist you with that.

Until next time,

G.

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